I am horrified. Frightened. Petrified.
I run the scenarios through my head: if I do this, that will happen; if I do that, this will happen.
I ponder upon the consequence of each choice.
I can’t decide. I am just still, not wanting to move one inch for fear that even just a tiny puff of breathe will make it all come tumbling down.
Life is full of choices. Yes. We all make them everyday- the easy ones and the hard ones. If someone asks us what to do in their situation we usually know exactly what to tell them- exactly what WE would do, but that is just it. In our minds we think “that will never happen to me, but if it did I KNOW I’d do that.” It is soo easy to dish out the advice, recommendation, opinion- but when the person that needs the help is suddenly staring at you through the mirror it is not so easy anymore.
It does make you realize that next time you give advice on a situation you “think” you know what you would do in, but have never been through, please think twice- would you really do what you are telling your friend or co-worker?
And if you wouldn’t…. Why wouldn’t you? And why are you telling someone else to do it?
I recently have gone through something that has changed my perspective on many things. I had never really given advice about it, but had commented and thought that I would do exactly one thing of it ever did happen to me. Well it happened, not to the full extent. At least… I don’t think so, but it happened.
And now I’m in between the certainty that it will pass, a simple mistake to learn from, and the uncertainty that perhaps I am making the worst choice and I should have run the moment I realized what was happening.
Either way I fear regrets. The reason I didn’t run is because, and I know it is a risk I run, if it ever happens again I’ll have no doubt what to do.
I pray it doesn’t come to that. I pray this time is not wasted, but I also know everything happens for a reason and I’m holding on to that thought.
I know it all seems a little vague, but I can’t delve into details. All I know is that I have never been so certainly uncertain in my life, I wish I knew I was doing the right thing, but I follow my heart and sometimes it is the worse thing I can do and others it is a blessing –
heart don’t fail me now.